Growing up, my mother would often declare in a moment of irritation and exhaustion “I’m a person too!!” So as you would expect, in my reign as mother over a growing brood, I often hear myself professing those same words.

Looking back, I believe what my mother was trying to express was her sense of under appreciation. Indeed, she was a single mother caring for three small children with very little help or support. She was stressed and drained of mental, emotional and physical energy.

Today, as a mother myself, I often experience a similar sense of burn-out. I feel irritated and out of control and I experience critical thoughts that include the words “selfish” and “ungrateful”. When this happens, the temptation is to place blame on those around me, but, for most of us these thoughts and feelings are most likely an indication that we must turn inwards and demonstrate some self care.

Here’s how:

First, when you notice yourself feeling angry or sad, neglected and unappreciated congratulate yourself for identifying your need to feel valued.

Next, stop what you’re doing, just take a moment, and ask yourself what you need to feel valued and cared for. This could mean you need to look outward for external support such as asking for practical assistance (like a babysitter, cleaning help or a helping hand from a spouse or family member), or it might entail communicating your need for verbal encouragement  and comfort. Often, however, when we feel under appreciated by others, it is a reflection of our own lack of value for ourselves.

As caregivers to a justifiably needy crowd, it is so important that we allow ourselves the opportunity to turn our attention inward and demonstrate self compassion and acceptance for ourselves, recognizing our own unique gifts and value as well as accepting our shortcomings. Research has demonstrated that exercising self compassion leads to less anxiety, less conflict and more peace of mind.

Plus, we all know that when we feel well looked after, we are better equipped to look after the ones we love.

Do you feel drained and in need of some self care?

What do you need to feel looked after and what are you doing to fulfill your needs?