There’s something about freaking out on your kids that makes you reconsider everything that you thought life with kids was supposed to be.
I mean, is it supposed to be this hard!?
Well, it doesn’t have to be if you can drop some of the myths that are keeping you from being more present and patient, and enjoying life with kids.
Here are the 3 biggest myths about raising kids who thrive:
1.I’m getting it wrong.
When your kids complain or tantrum, that’s usually when parents start to wonder ” What am I doing wrong!?”
The answer: nothing.
When your kids act out and drive you crazy, it’s not evidence that there’s anything wrong with you, or your kids, rather, it’s an opportunity to pay attention and wonder what’s really going on here, for me AND for my kids.
2. I should love every minute
You don’t want to be blowing a fuse every time your child blinks or raises a complaint, but that doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you or your parenting, if at times, you’re just not enthralled by the task of motherhood (that’s an understatement!).
Here’s the truth:
Life with kids day in and day out can bring up a lot of deep emotions, needs and wishes that you might not have encountered until you became a parent.
You don’t need to love every minute, but when you don’t, you need to give yourself permission to encounter whatever thoughts and feelings come up for you.
You can try ignoring them, but pretending they’re not there won’t make them go away. Instead, they find other ways to express themselves, like when you snap at your loved ones or can’t find the motivation to do what you need to do.
Instead of hanging on to this unrealistic expectation to love every minute of motherhood, it’s better to be open and honest with yourself and learn to encounter the full spectrum of your emotional experiences in life with kids. That way, instead of thinking there’s something wrong with you, you can know that you and you’re kids are okay, and with less guilt, be more present and patient.
3. I should know what I’m doing
Of course you don’t see yourself as some expert, but as soon as you hit a bump in the road, you start to get tough on yourself and think “what am I doing wrong!?,” as if you’re supposed to know what you’re doing in the first place.
But the truth is, you’re not doing anything wrong.
How to enjoy life and raise kids who thrive is something we have to learn how to do.
Catching ourselves before we lose it, recognizing and supporting our kids’ emotional needs and setting boundaries that work, is something we need to learn.
So instead of beating yourself up when you find yourself lost and overwhelmed, know that there is nothing wrong with you. You’re a good parent who, like others, could use a little direction and guidance.
In order to achieve my goal to nurture loving and lasting relationships with my kids, relationships that will nurture their self-esteem, I have to be open and honest with myself so that I can be a patient, present parent who is able to connect with my kids authentically.
But most of all, to achieve my goal, I have to be willing to learn how to do it. How to connect with myself, connect with my kids and build loving relationships that last.